Today was our first day of school for the 2018-19 year. To say it did not go as expected would not be quite true, since after 9 years of first days of homeschool, I have learned to expect the first day to not go “as expected.” I have had to leave the house 3 times before noon. I have had a child in tears three times over frustrations with understanding curriculum and begging me to switch to something different. All of the other projects I intended to accomplish today have not even begun. On top of this, I have been continuing the daily struggle with anxiety that is currently plaguing more than one member of my family. I look at Facebook and I see all the “first day” posts and hope that I can accomplish that before nightfall. I have to keep up with all the “Joneses” out there, ahem, I mean, I want to remember this day, right? So now I am doing something else I did not plan to do: writing about my day. Because I figure I am not the only one whose day did not go as “planed.”
Thankfully, I can think about this day and know that while it was not what I envisioned, it was not a “bad” day. I was able to start the day praying with my girls to the God who created the universe! I know that I am homeschooling because He has laid it on my heart to do so. I know that He will be with me daily whether my days go as I plan, or completely fall apart. In my homeschool journey I have often been overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by busy schedules. Overwhelmed by interruptions in my day. Overwhelmed by my own expectations and failing to meet them. I am sure that you are also often overwhelmed, be it by the same things that overwhelm me or by your own struggles. I pray that whether you are weeks past your “first day,” or still weeks away from it, that you will lean into this journey and learn with me to cry out,
“Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart is overwhelmed; lead me to the rock that is higher than I.” (Psalm 61:1-2)
After all, dependence on Him is what is really all about.
A little musical encouragement from one of my favorite artists: